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do depressed kids dream of suicidal sheep?

from in various disguises, and the splitting of ego by seigfried komidashi

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drums: you be you // jon bap

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last night i dreamed lady luck spoke to me
eyes burned fire as her ire took a hold of me
crimson dress splayed in winds from the west
wandering eyes put modesty to test
im a piece of shit,
i know it
depressed motherfucker moonlighting as a poet
thats showbiz
i guess
stressed, pressed by impaitience
too damn stubborn to be in patient and the voices never vacant
and death sits at the shoulder,
fast train tracks the altar saying
take a knee
bow head quick at the feet of majesty
and find me,
like feynman
realigning time so i travel back to see future minds
and mines set,
still dreaming about suicidal sheep
wondering if this new job can ever pay the fees for the cruise down to hades,
and if these chats with death make me less crazy
and
shit

bare soul as the feet walk coals and the feels don’t go
but it feels like i’ve stopped running,
death chasing but i still his touch coming
and the throughbred aint left
redressed the points made in his last text
that its juust pretense for past vents and future kept secret like the best
so safari park the setting
war in the brain so get got or getting getting
dog eat dog world
fists curled as sanity lays strewn unfurled as i hurled my soul on the
cold hard pavement
funny how black now seems to be a statement
shame these white boys don’t know what it came with
anxiety creeping quickly as the shame did,
just in case the clothes ain’t clean,
mum told me don’t be like those guys on tv
yet
who the fuck else did i see
part from historians and professors on discovery
nat geo, used to sweat time team,
used to be happy
now sadness ain’t a worry it’s a habit,
but comedy rises from tragic,
aristophanes the way i get thespians heckling
hyde from myself to not let fucking jeykll in
still smoking devlish
but
not as much
started giving more fucks
hash in rotation is the only way the highs come
cos otherwise the mind numb to the beauty of the green,
plants bloomed under violent blues of summer brought me back to
reality

credits

from in various disguises, and the splitting of ego, released August 25, 2018

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seigfried komidashi Sheffield, UK

depressed motherfucker moonlighting as a poet

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